In the immortal words of Navin R. Johnson, “The new phone books are here!”

This morning, Obama unveiled the mammoth tomes that contain his new, unsustainable, deeply flawed budget.

Despite increasing taxes on families tht make over $250,000 a year, repealing the Bush tax cuts, and creating brand new taxes targeted at rich individuals and financial institutions, the budget still creates 1.6 trillion dollars of new debt.  That figure manages to trump last years record high of 1.4 trillion, so it seems that the President has learned nothing from the rampant outrage of 2009.

Fortunately, once those new taxes kick in, and the resultant layoffs begin, most families won’t have to worry about the burdens associated with making more than $250,000.

In a highly defensive speech this morning, Obama blamed Bush, then went on to try and paint himself as the savior of our economy, not its destroyer.  He has it seems, turned everything around.  That 10.2% unemployment rate is meaningless, because he has, largely, fixed the disaster that his predecessor left behind.  Unfortunately, he now predicts he will create over five trillion dollars worth of debt over the next five years.  That’s 35% higher than he forecast a year ago.

Remarkably, though he left office over a year ago, George Bush must have somehow snuck into the oval office and created all that new debt while Obama wasn’t looking.  The man has got to be stopped!

We’re fortunate to have Barry in office, because he’s pulled out the red pen and started slashing unnecessary expenditures in order to cover a tiny fraction of his squandering.  He has eliminated a great many wasteful enterprises, while providing funding for what he termed “programs I care about.”

It looks like he doesn’t care about Nasa, because the wildly unpopular space agency will see its moon mission cancelled and its budget slashed dramatically.  Don’t worry, though, Obama has ensured that they will still receive enough cash to fight the increasingly bogus problem of global warming.  Thank God.  The American people may be willing to watch the President deficate on a Moon mission, but they’d never forgive him if he eliminated the global warming cash.

Obama said this morning that he wouldn’t be able to bring down the deficit overnight.  Color me impressed.  It’s a brilliant diamond of clear thinking wisdom.  If he keeps increasing our debt at a record rate, he will indeed have a tough time bringing it down.  According to his current plan, after 10 years, he will have lowered it by a meager $250 Billion.

Republicans?  Propose a new balanced budget amendment.  NOW.

- Robert Laurie